As subtle as a flying brick.

The Top 10 Top 10 Food Lists

You know I love my Top 10 lists. So today I’m spreading the love around the web and shouting out the funniest food stories I’ve ever seen presented in list format: the very meta Top 10 Top 10 Food Lists:

10. Top 10 Songs With Sexually Suggestive Food Metaphors:
From Tom Waits’ strawberry sundae surprise to MC Lyte’s hot peas and
butter, the Frisky brings us the dirrrrtiest food songs of all time.
Wait, I seriously thought that “peaches” song was just about peaches.

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9. Top 10 Creepiest Fast Food Mascots:
Remember that nasty Quizno’s rat/hamster thing? Seriously, what
marketing exec OK’d that? And did you know Ronald McDonald used to be
even weirder than he is now? Fanpop’s list will keep you up at night.

8. Top 10 Food and Drink Hacks:
Lifehacker gets all Macgyver on your kitchen cabinet, with tips on how
to build a fire from chocolate and Coke, freeze perfectly clear ice
cubes, and open a beer bottle with one sheet of paper (seriously!)

7. Top 10 Sightings of Religious Figures in Food:
That Virgin Mary is one hungry broad! Girl be showing up everywhere
from grilled cheese to Cadbury’s. This list has her and her boy tracked.

6. Top 10 Uniquely ’80s Foods:
Oh, hit me up with some Capri-Sun and California Raisins! Serious Eats
has this nosh-talgic list, although I don’t know how they forgot Ecto
Cooler.

5. Top 10 Most Disgusting Candies Ever:
Just what is with the fascination of making candy disgusting? Listverse
has the best of the worst, from Gorilla Boogers to candy scabs.

4. Top 10 Anthony Bourdain Insults on Food TV: Tony B’s greatest hits. One each for everyone on the Food Network.

3. Top 10 Food & Sex Scenes in the Movies: Eating Our Words has the X-rated version of Endless Simmer’s Top 10 Movie Food Moments, with videos included (some of which are very, very NSFW, and may include Penelope Cruz’ “prosciutto.”

2. Top 10 Creative Ways to Enjoy Bacon:
You knew we weren’t going to miss this one. Of course, we already knew
about most of the items on Spike’s list, aside from the very creative
idea of smoking bacon (hint: not on a grill).

1. Top 10 Things to Expect When Dining With a Food Blogger:
Seriously, don’t ever go to gansie and 80p’s house for dinner. You’ll
get cold food served at 11:00pm, but boy will it looks beautiful on the
blog the next day. And that’s what counts.

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