As subtle as a flying brick.

Amy Cakes

Amy Vs. The Booger Bandit

I’ve been informed that someone has been wiping snot on the walls of the stalls in the men’s washroom. At first when I was told this, it was hard to believe since who the hell would be doing this especially at our ages, but once I actually saw for myself it definately is snot.

This message is intended for whoever is doing this and I am hoping that it’s only one sick person and not a couple of people. PLEASE STOP DOING THIS! If you need to wipe your nose, use the toilet paper that is in the stall beside you, not your finger.

Now I hope I made the person feel really bad about what they’re doing and hopefully it will stop today.

Amy Johnson

Smokey the bear rides again

This is intended for the people that smoke in here. Someone decided to dump an ashtray full of cigarette butts into the garbage in the men’s washroom right after they finished smoking which caught the toilet paper in the garbage on fire.

The person should have known this would happen but apparently they’ve never learned what would happen in a case like this.

So to all the smokers, please don’t dump ashtrays into garbages after you just finished smoking. Water puts cigarettes out, not toilet paper.

Amy Johnson

Amy Vs. The Brown Bomber

This is another message for those people in here who don’t have any common sense. Someone decided to put that rough brown paper towel in the toilet, almost clogging it. If someone is using that to wipe with, they’ve got some serious problems, that shits rough! We have toilet paper for wiping and which doesn’t clog the toilet. We just had an episode with a clogged toilet two weeks ago and don’t want another one so please use your head and think before you do something so stupid.

I’m hoping I don’t have to keep doing this but it seems to be getting worse around here. Maybe we should take a class on common sense even though I doubt that’ll help since we all should know what not to do by now.

Amy Johnson

Amy The Holiday Girl

For all of you that keep telling me that Monday is a stat holiday, I called the province of New Brunswick like I’ve done all the other years I’ve worked here to ask them about this holiday. It’s considered a stat holiday but not a paid Stat holiday so it’s up to the employer whether to have us work or not. New Brunswick only has 6 paid public holidays while other provinces have more or some have less. Do, DON”T icq me about this again. Here’s a link you can look at for NB:


Amy Johnson

Amy Poops on Another Party

Before you start asking where the chips are, we will not be getting anymore chips, pop/bottled water from now on. The reason being is it has become too expensive and some people have been taking advantage of it by eating/drinking too much too fast.

DON’T respond to this icq please.

Amy Johnson

Amy Tackles the Floaters

I’ve been informed that some people arn’t flushing the toilets in the men’s washroom, please flush after each time you use it. It’s discusting for other people to have to do it for you. Once again, more common sense that has to be mentioned.

Amy Johnson

Amy Wields her Plunger in Anger

I am hoping this is going to be the last message I have to send to you guys. When taking a shit, FLUSH THE DAMN TOILET or don’t use an entire roll of toilet paper to wipe your ass. No wonder the toilet gets clogged so often. If you notice it’s clogged, don’t leave until it’s fixed because I’m sick of going in there, trying to hold back the puke and fixing it myself. This is not a damn elementary school.

Amy Johnson

Amy and the logistics of pooping, pt. I

There is no running water at the moment, we’re trying to figure out what happened. Please do not flush the toilet when you use it until I let you know it’s fixed so NO SHITTING!! We don’t need another plugged toilet

Amy Johnson

Amy and the logistics of pooping, pt. II

Paul just told me the water is working fine so you may poop freely!!

Amy Johnson

Amy combats Chairjacking

There has been a person(s) taking chairs from other people. Everyone has a chair so there’s no reason to be taking chairs from other people. If you have a problem with your chair, come talk to me and I can get you a new one but please don’t be taking someone else’s chair from now on.

Amy Johnson

I. P. Freely

People have been telling me that when they’ve gone to the bathroom there’s been piss all over the seat and/or floor. Now this isn’t the mall bathroom where you don’t care whether or not someone after you sits in your piss, these are your co-workers so you should have the decency to wipe up after yourself. If you are not coordinated enough to make it in the toilet without dribbling all over it maybe you should practice at home on your own toilet.

Amy Johnson

A picture really is worth 1,000 words

Amy gets pissed off

I’ve been getting complaints yet again about people pissing on the toilet seat. It is mostly in the bathroom by the CS room so whoever uses that bathroom please aim more carefully or wipe up the mess afterwards so others don’t have to. If you can’t even pee properly I don’t even want to imagine you trying to do anything else with it.

Amy Johnson

Amy don’t take no shit

Here’s another message about the CS bathroom and some disgusting employee.

Apparently pissing on the seat wasn’t enough so now someone has decided they have to shit on the seat and leave it for the next person to clean. This is getting ridiculous, there’s people in here who obviously were never taught how to use the toilet properly. If you want to come talk to me personally, I can see if I can find you some bathroom Etiquette courses to take because you shouldn’t be allowed to go out in public until you get that resolved.

Amy Johnson

Smoking doesn’t kill people… Amy kills people.

Even thought you’ve been told many many times there is still people smoking in the bathrooms. Would you please just grow up and respect the rules of your workplace and your co-workers. Andrew has been nice enough to buy a bus for you to smoke in, yet you are too lazy to go outside and use it so you’ll do what you’ve probably done since junior high and that is hide out in the bathroom and smoke your cigarette. You’re pathetic.
Just go outside like everyone else and stop thinking you’re somehow special because you’re not.

Amy Johnson

Amy dishes out the Christmas cheer…

There has been a change of plans for the christmas party. Because we have some ungrateful whiners in here who can’t appreciate anything that is a little different than our usual christmas party activity we will now be having dinner at Pizza Delight and that’s it. Curling has been cancelled because apparently some of you think it’s such a stupid idea and felt the need to have to complain. I don’t know how you thought by complaining about it would do any good but now the ones that have have ruined it for everyone else.

SO HERE’S A BIG THANK YOU! Hope you’re pleased with yourselves.

Amy Johnson

4 responses

  1. Khaled Adams

    Careers like this just don’t exist anymore.

    March 6, 2020 at 2:35 pm

  2. is this for real?

    June 27, 2014 at 9:19 am

    • This is so real, its unreal.

      March 18, 2015 at 9:52 am

  3. El Firlotto

    That Amy was always such a bitch… sigh.

    September 8, 2011 at 2:58 pm

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