This is a reposting of my old Office Managers email and ICQ messages to my coworkers.
|Amy Vs. The Booger Bandit|
I’ve been informed that someone has been wiping snot on the walls of the
This message is intended for whoever is doing this and I am hoping that it’s
Now I hope I made the person feel really bad about what they’re doing and
|Smokey the bear rides again|
This is intended for the people that smoke in here. Someone decided to dump
The person should have known this would happen but apparently they’ve never
So to all the smokers, please don’t dump ashtrays into garbages after you
|Amy Vs. The Brown Bomber|
This is another message for those people in here who don’t have any common
I’m hoping I don’t have to keep doing this but it seems to be getting worse
|Amy The Holiday Girl|
For all of you that keep telling me that Monday is a stat holiday, I
called the province of New Brunswick like I’ve done all the other years
I’ve worked here to ask them about this holiday. It’s considered a stat
holiday but not a paid Stat holiday so it’s up to the employer whether
to have us work or not. New Brunswick only has 6 paid public holidays
while other provinces have more or some have less. Do, DON”T icq me
about this again.
Here’s a link you can look at for NB:
|Amy Poops on Another Party|
Before you start asking where the chips are, we will not be getting
anymore chips, pop/bottled water from now on. The reason being is it
has become too expensive and some people have been taking advantage of
it by eating/drinking too much too fast.
DON’T respond to this icq please.
|Amy Tackles the Floaters|
|I’ve been informed that some people arn’t flushing the toilets
in the men’s washroom, please flush after each time you use it. It’s
discusting for other people to have to do it for you.
Once again, more common sense that has to be mentioned.
|Amy Wields her Plunger in Anger|
|I am hoping this is going to be the last message I have to send
to you guys. When taking a shit, FLUSH THE DAMN TOILET or don’t use an
entire roll of toilet paper to wipe your ass. No wonder the toilet gets
clogged so often. If you notice it’s clogged, don’t leave until it’s
fixed because I’m sick of going in there, trying to hold back the puke
and fixing it myself.
This is not a damn elementary school.
|Amy and the logistics of pooping, pt. I|
|There is no running water at the moment, we’re trying to figure
out what happened. Please do not flush the toilet when you use it until
I let you know it’s fixed so NO SHITTING!! We don’t need another
|Amy and the logistics of pooping, pt. II|
|Paul just told me the water is working fine so you may poop freely!!
|Amy combats Chairjacking|
|There has been a person(s) taking chairs from other people. Everyone has a
chair so there’s no reason to be taking chairs from other people. If you
have a problem with your chair, come talk to me and I can get you a new one
but please don’t be taking someone else’s chair from now on.
|I. P. Freely|
|People have been telling me that when they’ve gone to the
bathroom there’s been piss all over the seat and/or floor. Now this
isn’t the mall bathroom where you don’t care whether or not someone
after you sits in your piss, these are your co-workers so you should
have the decency to wipe up after yourself. If you are not coordinated
enough to make it in the toilet without dribbling all over it maybe you
should practice at home on your own toilet.
|A picture really is worth 1,000 words|
|Amy gets pissed off|
|I’ve been getting complaints yet again about people pissing on
the toilet seat. It is mostly in the bathroom by the CS room so whoever
uses that bathroom please aim more carefully or wipe up the mess
afterwards so others don’t have to. If you can’t even pee properly I
don’t even want to imagine you trying to do anything else with it.
|Amy don’t take no shit|
|Here’s another message about the CS bathroom and some disgusting employee.
Apparently pissing on the seat wasn’t enough so now someone has decided
|Smoking doesn’t kill people… Amy kills people.|
Even thought you’ve been told many many times there is still people
smoking in the bathrooms. Would you please just grow up and respect the
rules of your workplace and your co-workers. Andrew has been nice
enough to buy a bus for you to smoke in, yet you are too lazy to go
outside and use it so you’ll do what you’ve probably done since junior
high and that is hide out in the bathroom and smoke your cigarette.
Just go outside like everyone else and stop thinking you’re somehow special because you’re not.
|Amy dishes out the Christmas cheer…|
There has been a change of plans for the christmas party. Because we
have some ungrateful whiners in here who can’t appreciate anything that
is a little different than our usual christmas party activity we will
now be having dinner at Pizza Delight and that’s it. Curling has been
cancelled because apparently some of you think it’s such a stupid idea
and felt the need to have to complain. I don’t know how you thought by
complaining about it would do any good but now the ones that have have
ruined it for everyone else.
SO HERE’S A BIG THANK YOU! Hope you’re pleased with yourselves.